Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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