He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
