ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Randomize
