Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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