Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
