The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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