If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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