Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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