remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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