she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
