You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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