Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
