Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours

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  (818): yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours http://tfl.nu/fxuo
  Replies (9) Good night (1462) Bad night (559)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.

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  (206): I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese. http://tfl.nu/0pie
  Replies (13) Good night (4033) Bad night (804)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  I had better be fucking involved with step four.

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  (614): Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez. (1-614): I had better be fucking involved with step four. http://tfl.nu/poz4
  Replies (46) Good night (5294) Bad night (837)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.

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  (203): I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date. http://tfl.nu/v8b1
  Replies (7) Good night (3998) Bad night (846)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack

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  (208): you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack http://tfl.nu/46lg
  Replies (28) Good night (872) Bad night (4331)
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  (831): View more from California

  I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE

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  (831): I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE http://tfl.nu/5c8q
  Replies (29) Good night (5632) Bad night (908)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.

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  (360): Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe. http://tfl.nu/jop2
  Replies (23) Good night (6597) Bad night (829)
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  (310): View more from California

  I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it

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  (310): I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it http://tfl.nu/jugc
  Replies (8) Good night (1195) Bad night (3621)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?

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  (636): hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls? http://tfl.nu/dqbw
  Replies (17) Good night (5059) Bad night (952)
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  (510): View more from California

  EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!

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  (510): EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT! http://tfl.nu/n28b
  Replies (22) Good night (1720) Bad night (5900)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.

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  (770): She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out. http://tfl.nu/r137
  Replies (11) Good night (945) Bad night (2536)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.

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  (734): So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot. http://tfl.nu/gct9
  Replies (3) Good night (804) Bad night (733)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.

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  (717): The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot. http://tfl.nu/h8z2
  Replies (6) Good night (2745) Bad night (1083)
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  (310): View more from California

  I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.

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  (310): I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too. http://tfl.nu/waf5
  Replies (2) Good night (1307) Bad night (490)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.

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  (775): She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again. http://tfl.nu/g27v
  Replies (3) Good night (504) Bad night (291)

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