Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so that wasnt chicken after all
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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