it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.