my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?