Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
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My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
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whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me