Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I knew I fell for you for a reason

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  (570): just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on (908): I knew I fell for you for a reason http://tfl.nu/lpgl
  Replies (17) Good night (3577) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.

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  (602): either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing. http://tfl.nu/e07a
  Replies (21) Good night (6629) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  the snow is so cold on my vagina.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  why do you have snow on your vagina?

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  vodka and heels.

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  (580): the snow is so cold on my vagina. (405): why do you have snow on your vagina? (580): vodka and heels. http://tfl.nu/uvnf
  Replies (45) Good night (6420) Bad night (1543)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...

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  (203): Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night... http://tfl.nu/4ooo
  Replies (7) Good night (1185) Bad night (4761)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  How was the bike ride?

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.

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  (734): How was the bike ride? (1-734): Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups. http://tfl.nu/2qrl
  Replies (21) Good night (8829) Bad night (1297)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.

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  (203): I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed. http://tfl.nu/jzfc
  Replies (35) Good night (6345) Bad night (2301)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven

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  (804): just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven http://tfl.nu/wd21
  Replies (3) Good night (2380) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse

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  (316): its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse http://tfl.nu/neow
  Replies (18) Good night (3623) Bad night (1141)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"

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  (832): You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you" http://tfl.nu/nnn7
  Replies (1) Good night (2554) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?

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  (802): He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been? http://tfl.nu/bs5q
  Replies (4) Good night (1458) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.

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  (402): the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion. http://tfl.nu/w3kh
  Replies (6) Good night (1163) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.

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  (740): I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper. http://tfl.nu/p7ov
  Replies (4) Good night (1411) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"

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  (250): He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too" http://tfl.nu/d99r
  Replies (1) Good night (1548) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?

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  (360): I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years? http://tfl.nu/xhbr
  Replies (3) Good night (1421) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?

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  (510): how many people can say they bit their tattoo off? http://tfl.nu/3vcv
  Replies (4) Good night (431) Bad night (1626)

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