Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college

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  (508): I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college http://tfl.nu/po1d
  Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (755)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!

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  (303): I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh! http://tfl.nu/2rr5
  Replies (1) Good night (657) Bad night (1287)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.

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  (803): Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning. http://tfl.nu/55ug
  Replies (12) Good night (4470) Bad night (1003)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.

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  (352): Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person. http://tfl.nu/l0db
  Replies (10) Good night (1156) Bad night (3632)
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  (714): View more from California

  I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.

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  (714): I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom. http://tfl.nu/8p10
  Replies (19) Good night (3830) Bad night (1551)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.

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  (828): I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm. http://tfl.nu/jyta
  Replies (19) Good night (765) Bad night (4581)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol

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  (910): can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol http://tfl.nu/846v
  Replies (5) Good night (2236) Bad night (1204)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment

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  (302): I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment http://tfl.nu/03jc
  Replies (9) Good night (1279) Bad night (625)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook

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  (775): Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook http://tfl.nu/cps5
  Replies (5) Good night (1569) Bad night (488)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.

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  (920): YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF. http://tfl.nu/pvmt
  Replies (12) Good night (2586) Bad night (560)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water

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  (202): I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water http://tfl.nu/zr61
  Replies (6) Good night (906) Bad night (337)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  What are your plans?

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.

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  (608): What are your plans? (1-608): Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters. http://tfl.nu/04dy
  Replies (1) Good night (784) Bad night (275)
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  (909): View more from California

  I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing

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  (909): I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing http://tfl.nu/z65e
  Replies (4) Good night (295) Bad night (618)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit

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  (215): I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit http://tfl.nu/jw8x
  Replies (0) Good night (545) Bad night (478)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...

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  (716): Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them... http://tfl.nu/sjm1
  Replies (7) Good night (393) Bad night (628)

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