Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
