I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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