Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize