I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
