I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
