my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
