But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
