seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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