so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
