I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
