I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
