I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's shark week go big or go home
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
