Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize