so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
