You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
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I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
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I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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