You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
