I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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