It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
being pregnant is like rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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