my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
