New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
