I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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