The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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