i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
