her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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