i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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