Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
