I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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