You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
