Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
