It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
