I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
