Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
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The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
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She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
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