just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
