He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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