She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
