you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
