So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
