you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize