oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize