My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
