and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
