i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....