this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.