remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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