I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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